Specialist: "HDL and LDL stands for?"
HO: "High-density lipoprotein and Low-density lipoprotein."
MO: "Highly-desirable lipid and life-destroying lipid."
Specialist looked at MO, "Not bad..you're right."
Specialist: "What's idiopathic?"
HO: "Means no cause is found."
MO: "It's a diagnosis of exclusion, after you've ruled out every other causes."
Specialist: "Right, so if you simply use this diagnosis, it means you are an idiotic doc treating a pathetic patient. Hence the word idiopathic."
HO & MO: "......"
Child's coughing vigorously.
HO: "Is that barking cough?"
MO: "OMG what did you just say? You can't even differentiate how barking cough is like? You should go back to your school and learn again. Barking cough is such a basic knowledge, and don't make me laugh by saying that is it OKAY."
Specialist passed by..."Did you all hear that? It's a TYPICAL barking cough. One should never miss that ya. Very typical."
HO looked at MO, MO looked at ceiling.
HO: "This patient presented with SOB..."
Specialist: "I hate ppl using short forms. What is SOB?"
HO: "Shortness of breath..."
Specialist: "But it can mean son of bitch also right? Why you so bad saying ppl got SOB?"
Medical officer (MO) doing round with 3 house officers (HOs).They stopped at one bed, which a patient has his eyes opening to call, with localizing response to pain and incomprehensible speech.
MO asked HO X, "What is the patient's GCS?"
HO X: "His GCS is full."
MO: "Maybe yours is not. Do you know how to assess GCS?"
HO X: "Hmmm...actually not too sure..."
MO shook his head, and asked HO Y to assess.HO Y did a very simplified one - asked the patient to move his hand but patient didn't.
HO Y: "Patient does not open eyes spontaneously, neither talk nor obeys command."
MO: "So the GCS is?"
HO Y: "GCS is 3."
MO started to feel bit dizzy. He looked at HO Z, "You are my last hope. Please do not disappoint me."
HO Z thought for a few seconds, then mumbled, "10..."
MO: "Oh thank god. Finally. Can you speak louder so that your friends can hear?"
HO Z seems to be proud, and presents loudly, "This patient's GCS is ten over seventeen!"
MO had a sudden collapse.
((Copy-pasted from http://darrenmagic.blogspot.com/))